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St. Barnabas Parish Office, Church Cottage, Waterloo Road,
Linslade, Bedfordshire, LU7 7LP,
Telephone (01525 371802)
The following is taken from the report to the APCM 2007
The Parish Magazine has been published in this Parish of Linslade for over one hundred years. I have several copies of old editions and the earliest one that I possess is for July 1896! At that time it contained an insert “The Dawn of Day” and the price was one penny in old money. Now it costs forty pence (new money)! A yearly subscription can be obtained and the cost is £3.50 for the year. (11 editions) The Magazine will be delivered to your door (for addresses in Linslade) and I herewith express my grateful thanks to our distributors who deliver them month by month. Thank you! There is normally a combined edition of two months during the summer months to give the Editor and its valued contributors a rest! The cost to the readers has not been increased since 1992!
It has been my pleasure to act as Editor to the Magazine since the Rev and Mrs Michael Peel left the Parish. (end of 1995) and as the result of a questionnaire which was circulated in the Parish, I have tried to modernise the Magazine and removed the inset “The Sign” which most readers did not care for. In its place I increased the number of pages allocated to local news from six to ten pages. At the same time, I introduced a coloured cover with a different picture each month.
I have a very valued rapport with the printer and he couldn’t be more helpful. Quite often he will have the Magazine printed so that I can call back to collect it the following week. I always endeavour to have the Magazine available to distributors on the last Sunday of the preceding month, so keeping to our tight schedule of preparation is vitally important. The cut off date is normally the first Tuesday of the preceding month, but an early submission will be very welcome.
CAN YOU SUPPLY SOMETHING FOR INCLUSION?
It doesn’t have to be too long; in fact if it will fit into one page or less of the Magazine, I will welcome it. Can you send your items to the Parish Office, or e-mail to: office@linslade-parish.org.uk I will gladly accept hand written items, and will willingly type it out for you, but an early submission in this case would be very welcome.
John Vickers
Several years ago I attended the opening of the Oasis Health Centre, which
offers primary health care to many of London's homeless population. At one point
a reporter from a well-known commercial radio station approached me and inquired
rather accusingly, " As a Christian charity aren't you using this an opportunity
to prey on vulnerable and needy homeless people - in reality, opening a centre
for proselytism rather than health?" I was able to assure her with complete
honesty. "Our motivation is simply our God-given responsibility to care
- our faith must work! If through our work the people we serve encounter God
and something of the love and compassion of Jesus then that will speak for itself.
We can't hide our faith - it is our inspiration, but we will never impose it.
We are here to serve all, unconditionally. That is what Christ has asked us
to do. It's what our faith compels us to do."
God is love and this necessitates his greatest gift to us - our freedom to choose.
Freedom is something we cherish above all things; it is at the very core of
what it is to be human. True love always grants freedom. That is why God adopts
a subtle approach with us. He leaves us space to make our own decisions and
choices. He never pushes, forces, bludgeons, beats, coerces, cajoles, manhandles
or manipulates people into faith - he never threatens us with the kind of 'offer
they can't refuse'. And Jesus gently wooed people too. His relationship with
those he encountered was characterised by what Philip Yancey calls ' the slow,
steady undertow of grace.' If God imposed himself on us we would be justified
in claiming that he had radically undermined the very freedom he has imparted
to us.
The need for integrity in our witness can also be applied to the way in which
we serve others. As churches increasingly work in their communities, often in
partnership with other agencies and local and national government, it is vital
that they demonstrate the highest professional standards and the best possible
service to those whose needs they are meeting.
In serving others we should demonstrate God's love and leave them the freedom
to respond to that love as they choose. Let us be love in action………with no strings
attached.
Extract from article written by Steve Chalke, Faithworks Founding Director
(reproduced with permission)
Some people never feel like helping anyone or participating in anything at
all. They prefer to watch others do it. These are SPECK Tators.
Others never offer to help anyone but are very gifted in criticising those who
do. These are called COMMENT Tators.
Then there are those powerful freaks who love to give orders and tell others
what to do without ever rolling up their own sleeves. These are the DICK Tators.
Some love spreading discord whilst driving others to criticise and slander.
For them it's never too hot, too old, too early or too late. These are the AGI
Tators.
There are those who would like to do something well but can't manage to keep
their word and often "cry off" at the last minute. We call them HEZI
Tators.
Others take centre stage and show an image of themselves which is nothing like
their true personality. These are the IMI Tators.
Finally there are those who look on everyone with affection and keep their word.
They are ready to stop what they are doing when others need a helping hand.
These put sunshine in our lives. We call them SUPER Tators.
On a windswept rocky coastline there were many shipwrecks. So some of the locals clubbed together to purchase a lifeboat. On stormy days and nights they would take it turns to keep watch. And when they saw a ship in distress they would put out to sea, often at great personal risk, to rescue the sailors from the sinking ship.
They rescued many sailors from certain death.
After a while someone thought it would be a good idea to build a hut, so they could offer shelter to the shipwrecked mariners, hot drinks, food and a bed for the night. So they worked hard to raise the money for the hut. They found that more people were needed – not only crew for the lifeboat, but a rota of people to make tea, dole out the hot soup and chat to the shipwrecked sailors.
Many people wanted to be involved in this valuable, lifesaving work. People from the surrounding villages would drop in to see how things were going. There was always a nice cup of tea on offer, or even something stronger. It was a very friendly, welcoming place to come to. People made friends there, they enjoyed each other’s company. Some of them got very involved carrying out improvements to the facilities, making them more comfortable.
Unfortunately, when half drowned sailors were brought in, they were dripping with water and usually very dirty, so they made a separate section for them so they wouldn’t spoil the fitted carpets and comfortable upholstered seating. The people who now came enjoyed so much talking to each other and propping up the bar that they didn’t have time to care for the sailors. And gradually it became harder and harder to find anyone willing to leave the warm, comfortable lifeboat station and risk their life to go out in the lifeboat.
Today the lifeboat station, extended and refurbished down the years, is a notable landmark on the cliff top. People come from far and wide to enjoy the company and the great social life.
BUT NOBODY RESCUES SHIPWRECKED SAILORS ANY MORE.
If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people,
with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would something like
this;
There would be 57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 Americans (North & South) and
8 Africans.
52 would be female and 48 male.
70 would be non-white and 30 white.
70 would be non-Christian and 30 Christian.
89 would be Hetero-sexual and 11 Homo-sexual.
59% of the village's wealth would be owned by 6 people. who would all be American.
80 would live in sub-standard housing
50 would suffer from malnutrition.
1 would be near death and 1 would be near birth.
1 (yes only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer.
1. Your sons and daughters
are not yours alone; Bring them to know Me before they are grown.
2. Provide for their needs and know as you do that I will provide for each one
of you.
3. Live by My word, in love and in fear, so you're living a message that children
can hear.
4. I delighted in sharing creation with you; help your children appreciate loveliness
too.
5 And respect them, for each is unique by design; Welcome their specialness.
Help them to shine
6. Cultivate character, loyalty, truth - Lessons in living to carve in their
youth.
7. Take time to listen, to laugh and to play; When your children have grown,
the memories will stay.
8. Teach them to talk to Me often in prayer; I want them to trust that I'll
always be there.
9. I am there for you too. Remember to ask and I will equip you for this holy
task.
10. These are my loved ones. Thus it shall be: as you do unto them, so you do
unto Me.
Composed by a
young girl in Belarus, Russia, near the site of the Chernobyl Nuclear Disaster
Area.
One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.
One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.
One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room,
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.
One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what's true.
One life can make the difference.
You see, it's up to YOU!
Shrove Tuesday precedes the season of Lent which begins on February 28th (Ash Wednesday)
The Curfew is not the only traditional reason for ringing the Church bells on Weekdays. Many places still ring the Pancake Bell on Shrove Tuesday. This practice is a survival of the Reformation practice on summoning people to Church on that day to confess their sins. Shrove tide gets its name from the fact that after Absolution the people were shriven. In those days the festivities lasted four days. Shrove Saturday, Shrove Sunday, Collop or Shrove Monday and Shrove Tuesday. After the reformation only Shrove Tuesday was observed but the Pancake Bell survives as a reminder to housewives to use up their household stores of fat or butter in making pancakes for the custom of fasting in Lent was still maintained if less strictly than before. In William Cowper's village of Olney in Bucks the Pancake Bell rang at 11.30 and 11.45 am to summon housewives to compete in the annual Pancake Race. The race is said to have its origin in the action of a local woman in 1445 who heard the Shriving Bell whilst cooking, and dashed to Church still holding the frying pan containing the pancake. The race has lapsed several times since then, but its future seems assured now that it has developed into a contest with the Town of Liberal in Kansas, U.S.A. to see who can compete a course of 415 yards in the fastest time.
The rules of the Olney race are fairly strict. Competitors must be at least sixteen years old and have lived in Olney or the neighboring village of Warrington for at least three months. Each woman must wear an apron and a hat or scarf, whilst slacks and jeans are not allowed. All contestants must toss their pancake at least three times during the race, but if the pancake is dropped, it must be picked up and tossed again. The first to reach the Church Porch received a kiss from the Bell Ringer, and both winner and runner up get prayer book gifts from the Vicar.
After a week of unsettled weather and the prospect of more rain, the core of St. Barnabas choir set out in a hired minibus in faith that it surely wouldn't "rain on our parade".
The journey was uneventful and we reached Windsor at 11:15 and plenty of time to spare. It was chilly and very breezy as we looked for somewhere to sit and eat our Iunch.
The park was pleasant, but we soon returned to the minibus to warm up, collect our robes and hook up our personal stereos for one last run-through of "the tricky bits!". With the last strains of organ music ringing in our cars, we made our way to Henry VIII gate to pick up our tickets and security stickers enabling us to enter Windsor castle. Once inside the gates, we were directed to our changing areas and waited to line up for the procession into the chapel ready for the 2pm rehearsal.
The entrance to St. George's is impressive, with its long, wide, stone staircase leading to the heavy wooden doors. Silence is maintained in procession, and the feeling of anticipation increases. When we have taken our places, we say a short prayer and set to work.
Roger Judd, the resident organist of St. George's is playing for us, and our conductor is David Hill from Winchester Cathedral.
Rehearsal starts with a hymn warm-up. There are several pieces, which need particular attention. There were changes to the way we sing the chants and fine tuning of the descants With a long work-through of the Toccata, the afternoon passed all too quickly. We gratefully rested for tea but were soon lining up again for the 5.15pm Evensong procession.
400+ choristers filled the nave and the service was attended by congregation and choir from St. George's. The opening anthem, "I will sing with the Spirit" by John Rutter set a mood of praise and anticipation. Psalm 24 fitted well with our surroundings. "Lift up your heads 0 ye gates, and be ye lift up ye everlasting doors: and the King of Glory shall come in" (vs 7&9). The contrast of unison and descant gave a soaring lift to these words.
The traditional hymns,"Praise my soul the King of heaven" and "The day thou gavest, Lord, has ended" were offset by the modern Magnificat and Nunc Dimittis in F by Peter Aston - a lively and challenging setting requiring all our skill and concentration.
"O for a closer walk with God" by Grayston Ives was also a modern anthem, but more peaceful. We had the advantage of singing it previously at St. Barnabas.
This all lead up to the rousing anthem "Sing!" This was a choral arrangement by David Willcocks, set to Widor's Toccata for organ. After the initial surprise that such an arrangement was possible, the sheer scale of the piece was breath-taking. For choristers, this was a mammoth feat of keeping time, split voice parts and joyous triumph at its conclusion.
The whole day was an enjoyable experience, but the afterglow of that praising Evensong left us humming now familiar tunes and wishing we could share the experience with you all. Even the fact that the fish and chip shop wasn't open couldn't mar the triumph, and I give thanks for the God-given talents that enabled us to participate in such an event.
Elaine Evershed
ANTIQUES Objects you once struggled to get off your hands, which people are now paying good money to get their hands on.
BOWLS Pensioners game at which some youngsters have recently been unbelievably lucky.
CAMPING Cheap form of holiday heartily recommended for any healthy pensioner not yet having experienced the delights of arthritis, chilblains ete,.
CAR Four-wheeled heap of cheap machinery provided to company employees, which become a precious engineering miracle when they retire and have to buy their own.
CLOCK. Ingenious mechanism which works slowly for young people gradually accelerates until they reach 65, then goes into overdrive.
COMPUTER. Piece of office machinery specially designed to take the blame for human errors.
DECORATING Domestic work involving every room in the house scheduled to be completed from top to bottom in the first eight weeks of retirement and actually finished in eight months except for the hall, one bedroom, the kitchen, and the bathroom which were not too bad after all.
DOCTOR Person who sits behind a desk who, when you appear on the other side of it, puts on a wooden smile meaning 'Blimey, are you still around?"
FINANCIAL ADVISER Somebody who could tell you what to do with most of your spare money, if you had any. The remainder would be for the financial adviser for knowing what to tell you.
GENEALOGY. Things you forgot to ask your relations about before they pegged out.
GARDEN. Plot of land once needing only two evenings work per week, but which since retirement suddenly needs a full time gardener to keep it in order.
GRANDCHILDREN. Small children provided to prevent you looking ridiculous when you go conkering, marbling or playing games in the park.
HAIR. Loft insulation provided for young humans who are hot-headed enough not to need it but often missed when they slow down and feel the chilly winds.
INFLATION. Figure invented by the government for the purposes of calculating increases in State Retirement Pensions and evidently based on the formula PR/2 where PR = Price rises.
LABOUR SAVING. Advertiser's description of any machinery too expensive for pensioners to buy.
MILE. A distance which, when walked is three times the length it was 50 years ago.
NEW-FANGLED. Anything with buttons on the outside and electricity on the inside.
OLD-FASHIONED. Anything which does what it was made to do.
POLICEMAN. Boy wearing a uniform similar to the one which used to be worn by large, fearsome men.
QUIZ. Question asking competition from which oldies are excluded by making every fourth question about post-Beatles pop music.
A Parish priest took his old banger into the local garage, "Charlie" he said to the mechanic. "Have a look at this old heap of mine'. Then he added softly: "And Charlie, go easy on the bill. You know I am just a poor preacher' Charlie replied: "Yes I know that Vicar, I heard you preach last Sunday
O Lord, grant that we may not be like porridge - stiff, stodgy and hard to stir, but like Cornflakes - light, crisp and ready to serve.
O Lord, grant that we may not be like Cornflakes lightweight, empty and cold, but like porridge - warm, comforting and full of natural goodness.
Dear Lord, So far today I am doing all right.
I have not gossiped, lost my temper
Been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self-indulgent,
I have not whined, bitched, cursed or eaten any chocolate,
I have not spent on my credit card.
However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes and I will need a lot more help after that.
I used to think that, if alone, how simple life would be
With just myself to think about - just me instead of we
I'd do the things I've never done, but always wanted to,
I'd go to bed just when I chose and read the whole night through
I'd eat and drink just what I liked and when I liked as well,
And then I'd leave the washing up till morning - what the hell!
0 yes I'd have a rare old time with just myself to please;
With half the shopping, half the cost, I'd live a life of ease.
But now I find I am alone and life is not the same,
Without you here to share it dear, it's just a dreary game,
The things I've never done before no longer count for me,
I creep into my lonely bed, just me instead of we.
It doesn't matter what I eat, I don't care what I drink
And when I've washed one plate, one cup, I sit alone and think
Of all the things you used to do to help my days along,
To make me laugh and cheer me up when ever things went wrong.
And though we had our ups and downs I'd give the world to be
With you again the way we were - just we and not just me.
(Winnie Bridges, Great Harwood, Lancs.)
You do meet some "funny" people on doorsteps when you trudge off clutching your Christian Aid shopping bag, stuffing envelopes through their letterboxes and later revisiting with your charming smile fixed firmly in place.
"How dare you put this through my door" from the irate houseperson who pursues you down the road to thrust the envelope back at you is perhaps bottom-of-the-barrel in sickeners. Closely followed by the one who stands in the doorway, arms determinedly folded, then shoves the - empty -envelope into your face with " I don't believe in it" or " I give enough to charity already", reducing to the feeble "can't find anything at the moment" evader. How often have we heard the unintentional howler "God knows where the envelope is"....
Demented dogs can be nerve-wracking. Some hurl themselves at the door and you fear they will demolish it and you too. Some wait, quiet and cunning, to snap your fingers. How do these people ever get any mail delivered.
"What do you do with the money ?"
"The envelope is bigger this year, isn't it"
"Is it a lickey one ? "
The envelope returned with a smarmy smile when you know it is empty - or turns out to contain a button, a foreign coin or even a discarded sweet.
Stooping low (ohhhh my back) to one of those ground-level letter boxes to find yourself looking at the housepersons feet...
Happily the majority are genuinely supportive, they have the envelope ready-filled. They say " we saw the advert on the telly and we want to help". You feel refreshed by their attitude and the encouragement this gives you.
One collector found herself faced with a young mother harassed beyond hope, husband away, children crying, one ill and in obvious need of practical help there and then. Gallantly she rallied the mum, soothed the kids, made a pot of tea and restored peace and calm. Returning next day for the envelope she was met by mum senior who greeted her with "don't worry, the cavalry's here"
Christian Aid is such a worthwhile Charity helping Christian and non-Christian alike; supporting people with little or no resources nor hope of other help, that our doorstep troubles are dwarfed by the real problems it tackles. But it all helps, and when Derek tells you how much has been raised this year it definitely feels worthwhile to he part of it. Live with the disappointments, enjoy the funnies and the genuinely nice people you do meet - and see you next year.
Two sailors were going home on leave when they got into a train compartment with a parson.
As the train moved off, one sailor said to the other; "What are you going to do on your leave" ?
The other sailor said "I'm going to get drunk on beer every night, what about you"?
" Girls are my hobby, I'm going to see a different one each night and have a marvellous time" was the reply.
The train moves on, and the first sailor resumes reading his paper.
"What's lumbago, Jack" he asked.
"I don't know - ask the parson" was the reply.
So the sailor said "What's lumbago, sir".
As the parson was annoyed at the way they had been talking, he replied; "Lumbago my man, is a very painful disease, due to drinking beer and going out with women. Why do you ask "?
"It's nothing guv'nor - it just says here that the Bishop of London has got it".
"Aylesbury.."
"Wow, that sounds exciting - it must have taken you all of 25 minutes to get there.."
"Took us 2 days ... we went by Narrowboat"
For our early year venture onto the canal system, we persuaded friends Mike and Sandie to join us and head south then west to the throbbing centre of down-town Aylesbury. The canal basin is now hidden behind the Inland Revenue offices on the Wendover Road just 10 minutes walk from the Town centre, but looks and feels a world away.
On Monday 6th of March we made our sedate way past the backs of Graham's and Brown's, Cedars sports field, behind Tiddenfoot pit under the bypass and to our First lock at Grove. As we set off towards Cheddington and Marsworth the wind was strengthening from the southwest across the open country known to the working canal boaters as "the fields". From the road the countryside appears fairly flat but in fact is climbing steadily towards the Chilterns and the canal goes through a succession of locks near Slapton, Horton, Cheddington, and up to Marsworth.
Reminders of the past importance of the canal are everywhere - it was the M 1 of it's day with industry and agriculture relying on it for safe, reliable transport of produce and supplies long before the days of good roads or the coming of railways. The lonely lock cottages are now all private houses. The buildings that housed the "Northern" engines pumping water back up the locks are now derelict, as arc the wharves behind Cedars and Tiddenfoot built for loading sand into the barges.
Marsworth is the first place where a village is right there at the canalside. It was a resting-place for horses and boaters before tackling the "main line" climb of 8 deep locks past Tring Reservoirs to Bulbourne and the summit level across the Chilterns. But we turned right. Having spent our first day climbing uphill, we were now going down through the narrow locks that lead the canal branch down and across the Vale to Aylesbury. More open fields, a much narrower and less-frequented canal and continuing strong (and cold) wind.
The countryside here is a vista of wide horizons. Cheddington hill and the tree covered ridge that shelter Mentmore to the north, the rounded Chilterns and Wendover woods to the south. The shopping list had been pretty comprehensive, or so we thought from the loaded trolley. But it rapidly transpired that whilst we had ample supplies of Guinness, Scottish warming fluid, bacon, fruit, cereals, custard powder etc. etc....we had invented a world shortage of MILK. Arrival at Aylesbury before shop closing time became a major priority.
We raced along, working the locks at double speed, whizzed through some of the narrowest bridges imaginable, had great views of St. James the Great at Bierton (our Friday bellringing venue) and screeched to our mooring at Tesco's canalside store ------ to find it was open 24 hours a day!
After a night moored outside Tesco's (exciting life this) we had to complete the last few hundred yards into Aylesbury basin to "wind" the boat (turn around). In this very urban environment - backs of factories, ends of unkempt gardens - we found a magic gathering of brightly plumed Mandarin ducks and two varieties of Pochards. On our way home we saw the first tinges of greeny yellow appearing on the trees and hedgerows. Mother Nature is beginning to wake up after the winter. We saw Rabbits under the hedges, Swans, Ducks and birds galore, including our most spectacular native, the Kingfisher.
The species we encountered hardly at all was humans! During the whole five days we met a few fishermen, even fewer walkers and only four boats on the move. It was lovely.
Yes, the back aches from pushing lock gates and the arms and shoulders protest at too much work with the windlass, but we had a glimpse of this corner of England from an aspect that not many see. An opportunity to look back at a long-last lifestyle and a chance to slow down to walking pace and admire the view.
Dave and Heather Darvill